Financial infidelity - How to avoid it and save your relationship

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By: Phil Bradford
on 23rd Jul,2019

Financial secrecy is hazardous both for finances and marriage. Check out how you can avoid financial infidelity and save your relationship at the same time.
Financial infidelity - How to avoid it and save your relationship

Infidelity is the root cause of destruction in any relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship with any person or your finances, disloyalty of any kind is hazardous for the health of your relationship.

How can you avoid financial disloyalty?

Financial infidelity has the power to snuff your love life as well. So, you have to be careful. If you feel that you’ve been becoming a victim of financial infidelity, which is damaging the well being of your finances and somewhere loosening the bond between you and your spouse, you must look for ways to overcome this situation.

Here’s a list of remedies to help you avoid financial infidelity and strengthen your marriage at the same time:

1 Always be transparent

Financial transparency is the best antidote to fight financial infidelity. By financial transparency, I mean you must talk about your salary, debt, credit score, assets, financial goals and aspirations. Never hide anything from your husband/wife. Transparency in a relationship would keep stress at bay.

As per PwC’s 2016 Employee Financial Wellness Survey, “52% of employees are stressed about their finances.”

2 Talk about your financial personality

Financial personality means, we are either spenders or savers.

According to a study, “73% of individuals have money management styles that are different from their partner’s.”

However, your upbringing determines your financial personality to a great extent.

Share your financial upbringing stories and how you manage your finances with your significant other (try to know their story as well). By doing so, both of you can shape your financial and personal life better.

3 Set goals together

When both of you are in a relationship, plan everything from kids to travel together. Life will be less stressful and more happy if you set common goals.

4 Decide how much spending is acceptable

Every household has a budget. So, don’t be a broke. As it’ll leave a negative effect on your finances and relationship as well. Have a money talk with your partner and decide how much spending is acceptable.

5 Make a realistic budget and stick to it

A well planned realistic budget would set you free from the clutches of financial treachery. Sit with a pen and paper and write down both of yours income and expenses. Figure out your actual expenses and try to save as much as you can. And most importantly, do stick to your budget.

When you have a joint spending plan and account, create a budget that’ll complement it.

Also, revisit your budget from time-to-time and make changes according to your financial situation.

6 Know financial expectations beforehand

I’m not suggesting you to discuss this topic on your first date. But, if both of you have marriage plans, you must have a discussion about both of yours future financial expectations.

It means, you must disclose all accounts, have a proper joint spending plan, agree together on future financial investments like buying a car or house, and so on. In short, you must have clarity of your spouse’s future economic plans.

7 Recognize the cause of spending

Is your financial life in danger due to uncontrollable spending? If so, then you must find out the reason behind it. That is, what triggers the spending, such as whether it’s due to addiction, loneliness, boredom, or stress. Find out the cause of spending so that you can control it.

8 Respect financial differences

Your financial priorities may be different from your partner. Your spouse may have different financial opinion, which you may disagree. He/she may be seeing one side of the situation which you cannot see. So, if you try to impose your opinion on your spouse every time, he/she may at one point will start hiding things from you. If this happens, it’ll create more financial chaos in the future.

Never try to impose your thoughts on your husband/wife.

Hear what your spouse has to say and respect his/her opinion. However, you can always share your point of view and can take decisions mutually.

Now that you know the remedies to avoid financial infidelity, you need to implement these as soon as possible.

How financial secrets damage relationships

After knowing how financial infidelity can affect your marriage, you won’t keep secrets from your spouse. Have a look:

1 You’re forced to lie

If you are hiding things from your spouse, you’re actually lying to him/her. In most cases, people lie to their spouses in order to avoid an argument. The longer you keep back information, the more hesitant you’ll be to disclose it later. Even if you don’t want, you’ll be forced to lie to your partner.

2 You have trust issues

Keeping secrets mean you don’t trust your spouse. If you can’t trust your partner in financial matters, you won’t be able to trust him/her with other things as well. Hence, it leads to mistrust in your relationship. And without trust, it’s difficult to survive in a relationship.

3 Your chances of making mistakes increase

It is always better to discuss money matters with someone else before reaching to a conclusion. Whenever you hide things (here, I mean financial matters) from your spouse, you’re bound to make decisions alone. When there is no one to tell you whether or not your decision is right, your chances of making mistakes increases. It in turn, may lead to more complications in your financial life and marriage too.

As you can see, keeping secrets is harmful both for your finances and marriage. So, practice transparency to keep problems at bay.

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